May cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime


I worked out at Planet Fitness for about a year and I was 100% convinced that the lunk alarm was a gimmick and didn’t actually work. If you’ve ever worked out at Planet Fitness (or know someone who does) you’ve definitely heard of the lunk alarm. It’s supposed to go off if someone is grunting or dropping weights all over the place. I used to throw my weights around on purpose, but 5lb dumbbells don’t make that much noise…

Apparently this guy set it off twice before and the managers politely asked him to stop grunting. The video starts after he set it off for the 3rd time…


34 responses

  1. PGW

    the lunk alarm went off while Wes was signing up for a membership

    January 27, 2010 at 2:44 pm

  2. thegrip

    Wes once set off the lunk alarm on the elliptical machine.

    January 27, 2010 at 2:46 pm

  3. PGW

    they had to add lunk alarms in the locker room and tanning beds because of Wes

    January 27, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    • thegrip

      i remember the time wes drank 4 muscle milk shakes during a leg workout

      January 27, 2010 at 3:40 pm

      • Paul is the one who drinks muscle milk and you know that shit…

        January 27, 2010 at 3:43 pm

        • PGW

          that stuff is tasty what can i say

          January 27, 2010 at 3:48 pm

  4. Steve and Paul always set off the jew-fro alarm

    January 27, 2010 at 3:42 pm

  5. PAJ

    I went there once and set off the HUNK alarm…holy shit that was a horrible joke

    January 27, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    • kam

      what are you, a fucking gay faggot or something??

      October 11, 2011 at 1:42 am

      • CheezWhiz

        Is there any other kind, sweetheart? Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle when I grease you up.

        February 6, 2013 at 6:24 pm

  6. r.

    HUNK ALARM!!!!! AHAHAHA. That was tight Pelly.

    I think Paul has a membership at Curves.

    January 27, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    • thegrip

      Haha Curves. I can’t believe that is the name of a gym.

      January 27, 2010 at 11:05 pm

      • PGW

        i had a membership at that PF location back when it was Gold’s Gym. those dudes got tossed out right quick when it changed ownership. i’m still surprised they allowed me to stay….

        January 28, 2010 at 9:00 am

      • Margaret Clegg

        I personally work for a Curves…lost 100 pounds through that organization. I know our women receive encouragemnt from others, and we are a community, giving to those in need, attending funerals and visitations. Curves is a great organization. Watch Secrat Millionaire April 3 on ABC, 8 pm

        March 19, 2011 at 6:44 pm

  7. natdrive

    i like how to dude was almost done on his rampage as he reached the door, but then was re-enraged when he saw those damn hand chairs!

    January 28, 2010 at 8:48 am

    • PGW

      i’ve come so close to tossing one of the hand chairs myself. who wants to be groped by a giant hand after you workout?

      January 28, 2010 at 8:59 am

  8. Elrod

    Ah, an entire business model based on striving for or acceptance of mediocrity. Gotta love it.

    March 25, 2011 at 12:11 pm

  9. LOL!!!!!
    Omg…I have been looking up reviews on Planet Fitness because I just joined yesterday. The “lunk alarm”? Really -_________-

    That was soooo funny though lol.

    October 14, 2012 at 9:06 am

  10. mike dzvonik

    that fucking meathead wad pushing around a girl? what a dick….that bacne faggot probably couldnt beat his way out of a wet cereal box….im 6’1″ 200lb skinny ass and id love to take a shot at an asshole like that…i’d take my chances ,,it would be worth it to teach a fucking asshole like that a lesson…that jerkoff probably had popcorn thrown at him at the keggers when he was in highschool and wouldnt say shit back….what a fuckin vinegar douche…hi girlfriend probly laughs at his dick and fucks his friends

    February 13, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    • Knuckle duster

      That was the sissiest little menstrual rant I have ever read. I’d better watch it though, you might throw some bad ass popcorn at me. Fag.

      February 27, 2013 at 2:01 am

    • watch out we got a bad ass over here

      July 20, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    • Elliott

      sounds like you are the vinegar douche. You talk big on the internet but I bet you would run away like a little girl if he confronted you.

      September 22, 2013 at 6:18 am

  11. BT

    that is so retarded hahahahah. pussies

    September 14, 2013 at 7:09 pm

  12. Tracer

    I don’t have a membership there, but I will definitely look into it. I think the rule is a GREAT way to keep the roid impaired out of the club & at Bailey’s Gym or Golds Gym, where they belong.

    September 16, 2013 at 9:19 am

  13. Elliott

    A lunk alarm, really? You can’t grunt, you can’t make noise with the weights. I wonder what would happen it you farted? Would all the little pussies faint? PF is for losers and is doomed to failure.

    September 22, 2013 at 6:30 am

  14. femmemuscle

    they also have Monday Night Pizza and Morning Bagels once a month. i happened to walk in and see more bovines chowing down at the pizza table that night than there were folks working out in the gym. When they mentioned the Morning Bagel gimmick, i just turned around and walked out.

    October 20, 2013 at 2:05 pm

  15. femmemuscle

    Unfortunately, elliot? with the gimmicks these guys are coming up with to appease the masses, versus helping folks with their fitness goals – i believe they just might win. I did notice in Albuquerque, NM, there was a Planet Fitness just right off the highway? Very conveniently located. But apparently, it was closed down.

    I’m hoping your prediction is right.. That really isn’t a gym – it’s just pathetic.

    October 20, 2013 at 2:08 pm

  16. Larry

    After reading comments like this, I can see why Planet Fitness has a lunk alarm. You guys are morons. Planet Fitness answers the question of, what if I want to work out, improve my cardiovascular fitness, put on some muscle, but not be a body builder or someone who squats 500 lbs? Wanting this doesn’t mean the exercisers are wrong, it means they have different fitness goals than you. If you don’t want to work out there, that’s fine, but the hate only makes you look like insecure babymen throwing a tantrum because somebody dares to live differently than you.

    If you look at the guy in the video and feel that his hissy fit was justified, then you need to seriously reevaluate what you consider is an appropriate response. He goes to the wrong gym for his fitness goals, he doesn’t follow the rules, he was given two warnings to stop breaking the rules, and when they finally ask him to leave, he throws things around, cusses, and stamps his feet like a little baby, wah wah wah. If this is the kind of guy you admire, then I wonder about you, I really do.

    October 28, 2013 at 9:58 am

    • After reading comments like this, I know for sure only insecure pussies who want to say they work out without ever making ANY gains toward ANY aethetic or athletic goal whatsoever need thought patterns like these to justify the cashing in on their beta-pussifiedness in their own minds.

      People like this are just SCARED of the people who actually DO have knowledge on whatever fitness goals you might have because because of how they look. Or worse yet, because of how they feel they look next to the guru’s while working out. When someone is fundamentally aesthetically better then you, or so much bigger, or so much stronger, you feel like they judge you, because they remind you of the mountain you need to cross. Then you blame them, when THEY actually never said a nasty word to you, don’t give two shits about and want you to stop constantly checking them out from the corner of your eye (as if they dont notice… beta’s think they’re slick) because and here’s the ironical kicker, THAT IS JUDGEMENTAL BEHAVIOUR.

      The people like the man in the video just want to do their own thing and go home and not be bothered by other peoples insecurities or not be constantly disturbed for petty reasons and THAT is how you progress. Not by being the treadmill fag who watches the speed and the incline of the person next to them and tries to constantly beat it or the noob who tries to curl 5 lbs more than the guy next to him just to ‘feel’ stronger and impress them. Planet fitness just breeds these annoying gnats. Train your body not your ego. Pay attention to you, not to how loud who the fuck ever is breathing. Don’t feel weak when someone is just better than you, make that person your goal and pick their brain after workouts as much as you can! Don’t cower with the group of demotivational undetermined people who will teach you horrid form and pointless exercises (injuries galore) and stuff your face with pizza and muffins only to say you ‘work out’.

      Stop halting your progress, stop wasting your time and stop condoning these pointless insecurity breeding ‘rules’ and by all means feel like a bitch if you do, because you are 🙂

      June 19, 2014 at 4:13 pm

      • No the meathead in the video was little whiney baby that couldn’t handle someone remind him of the rules. PF set them up for EVERYONE to go in and have the exercise experience they want…at their own pace. So he is the bitch in all of this.

        I don’t mind asking questions and seeking to improve myself by talking and learning from the guys that do put the intensity to their workout. However, they knew the rules going in and should handle themselves accordingly. I learn from people that are serious about their workout AND are willing to play by the established rules in place. Otherwise they are nothing but ignoramuses that have no respect for others paying and going for their own progress.

        Oh and by the way…the dude in the video is NO man. He may be a male but his actions definitely show his lack of manhood. Threatening the female employee and throwing a baby fit? Yeah…that pathetic sot is no man.

        August 2, 2014 at 8:45 am

      • Nomad

        Can’t say I agree – the guy in the video really isn’t that big. He is wearing long shorts to hide probable zero leg development and he has a beer gut. He is one of those “every day is upper body day” kind of guys and it’s quite telling that he was curling in front of the mirror. In fact that’s probably the only exercise he does. He is the type of guy who will look the same one year from now as he does in the present moment – regardless of where he works out. I’ve seen guys like this come and go. He isn’t mad because they sounded the alarm – he is mad because people don’t take him seriously.

        August 23, 2014 at 10:51 pm

      • SGRun

        It’s weird that a rule agsinst acting like a douche bag equates to an inability to be in awesome shape…weights are weights. Treadmills are treadmills. I’m quite capable of running 6-10 miles and lifting like a civilized person who doesn’t need constant attention, at PF as in any other gym…and be in great shape. I don’t get the connection.

        November 19, 2014 at 1:47 pm

  17. i might be hot for Nip/Tuck, i used to be saddened around the instance when one of the physicians got chest cancer*

    November 24, 2013 at 1:58 pm

  18. Pingback: Fit Wit: The Plight of Muscled Americans on The Daily Show | Fit Bottomed Girls

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