May cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime

a.i.

I don’t give a fuck if you like basketball….you should love Allen Iverson.

I hate family friendly bullshit athletes. Like Shaq and Howard playing out a superman theme.  I hate sportswriters more than any other writers. I hate hearing men in their mid 30s that can’t even run in a straight line talk shit on professional athletes that don’t subscribe or fit the mold of what they deem as acceptable for “the game”, the game in which many times they didn’t even have the guts to play themselves.

I can’t say I am the biggest NBA fan, but as of late I have really taken to the league, the personality and entertainment it provides, the aesthetic alone that basketball represents is like no other sport.

What sparks this rant? Allen Iverson. I have heard shitty sportswriter after shitty sportswriter speak of what Iverson “owes the game” and hearing that phrase exemplifies why I hate sports writers, sports journalists, the majority of assholes on ESPN (not Hannah Storm or Sage Steele, guts would be cut) and pretty much every other idiot at a fucking sports bar speaking of what they think the game is.

Everyone is an expert. Everyone so quick to talk shit. Iverson gets injured, returns, has some bench time and mentions how difficult it is for him to come of the bench, how difficult it is to play limited minutes during a game. In the midst of all this he compliments bench players, saying he “admires” them for coming off the bench and being able to produce, he mentions yet again how difficult that is for him, this leading to retirement talk.

Retirement? Going out on top? But Iverson owes the game right? That is what the sport community seems to think. Forget that he is barely 6’1 and maybe weighs 160 but came to play every night. Forget the fact that if he happened to be 6″4 even, that you might not talk as much about MJ, LJ, or maybe Kobe as much. Well you would talk about Kobe as much, but I imagine you understand my point.

In any case I hope to hear Iverson praised for his return. The main issue is the sporting world and the media that follows it has ruined sports and tarnished the game itself, not the player. Any small opportunity that the media has to ridicule athletes they will most definitely do so. The individuals that attack them will be the same that once were in their corner, like Phelps, Vick,  Barkley, Tiger, Kobe and Iveron alike.

Is it jealousy possibly? Do we idolize these athletes to the point of envy? Is this why the idea of the role model has been carried on for generations? Then, once our role models make a slip, or say something that the media doesn’t tend to agree with they are attacked and judged. I understand that is part of the price you pay, private life isn’t private, but for fuck sake.

All I am really saying is welcome back a.i., do the damn thing.

Iverson and the Sixers take on Denver tonight, read more here.

r.

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24 responses

  1. thegrip

    blorts slog.

    December 7, 2009 at 9:50 am

  2. PGW

    Hannah Storm has been holding it down since NBA Inside Stuff with Ahmad Rashad (aka MJ’s boyfriend aka Mr. Clair Huxtable).

    That being said, I went from hating AI circa 1996 to respecting circa 2001 to enjoying circa 2006 to hating circa 2009. I love his tenacity and toughness and he is more like 5’10” than 6’1″. He’s the ultimate “volume shooter” (like marklscott) and that works if your team is built around that (like the old Sixers with Dikembe & E Snow). But it’s no coincidence the Nuggets were the #2 seed in the West last year after trading him and not even the Knicks would fuck with him this season. He plays me-first style which worked 5-10 years ago, but now he needs to realize his talents have faded (like Rob’s wig) and take a backseat to the young bloods on the 76ers (Iggy, Lou Will & Speights).

    30 for 30 is a doing a documentary on AI this winter. Sounds dope.

    December 7, 2009 at 9:58 am

  3. MacLeod

    So you hate Shaq for being too family-friendly? Sounds like you want athletes to conform to your model, much like the sportwriters you despise want Iverson to conform to their model.

    December 7, 2009 at 10:31 am

  4. r.

    I would prefer if all athletes were more like Artest and fucked up fans when they throw beer and talk shit, I would love to see Jim Rome get slammed, and I think the superman soldier boy bullshit needs to leave the NBA.

    That being said, I apologize if I sound too negative towards the media or how cool it is for Dwight Howard to wear a cape and not even make a dunk, shit just bothers me I guess, but I get your point, a good one at that.

    Hey Paul, my wig is fading, but the answer is still the answer, you know it.

    r.

    December 7, 2009 at 12:00 pm

  5. m. scott

    I don’t think it’s an issue of “conforming,” so much as it is an issue of pandering. Ever since MJ, almost every major star in sports has attempted to portray this squeaky clean image where they don’t have opinions or mistakes. Everything they say is highly crafted and scripted by a publicist. They try to make themselves as marketable as possible, which is another of way of saying palatable to mainstream white America (i.e. the lowest common denominator). Jim Brown, Bill Russel, Kareem, Bill Walton, Ali, etc., those guys were heroes to so many because they seemed real. The seemed human. They were scripted or focus group tested. Their first concern wasn’t trying to sell you a pair of shoes or Icy Hot patches. They spoke their minds, and they didn’t what media or corporate sponsors thought about it.

    Most players these days are just pitchmen shilling for the highest bidder. They don’t want to jeopardize those deals, so they become ciphers. That’s where Iverson is different. He’s a throwback to a bygone era. If Allen Iverson played basketball in a time before 24 hour sports networks, when most games weren’t televised, when you had to go to the arena, or read about it in the paper, then Allen Iverson, I firmly believe, would be considered a folk hero. You’d talk about John Henry, Johnny Appleseed and Allen Iverson. No one has ever done anything with more heart, toughness and style than as Allen Iverson plays basketball. Five foot ten straight dominating giants. Every game he ever played. The man’s story is the thing of myth and legend. Unfortunately, most of the country has failed to recognize and appreciate it. He’s the right man for the wrong time, I suppose.

    December 7, 2009 at 12:16 pm

  6. r.

    you should have wrote about iverson, what the fuck. argentine bureau chief.

    December 7, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    • marklawrencescott

      No way, man. You said it all. I just had to add my two cents.

      With regard to Shaq: He is one of the biggest self-promoters in all sports. He’s burned bridges wherever he’s been. He’s the ultimate me-first player in all of basketball. Yet, he gets a free pass from the media and fans because he’s allegedly funny. He gives beat writers great copy. Usually in the form of criticizing teammates or opponents. He has no loyalties. However, he doesn’t threaten the status quo or make white people nervous. In that respect, he is family-friendly. He really does represent most of the values and characteristics of contemporary America: no imagination, no creativity, no concern for the world he’s lives in, greedy, self-absorbed, disconnected, racist (e.g. his Yao impersonation), morally bankrupt, delusional and thieving.

      December 7, 2009 at 12:38 pm

      • PGW

        he does some good things. when he was with the suns, he went to a wal-mart and stood at one of the cash registers and paid for everyone’s items that came through his line. and he does tons of charity work.

        but, i agree, somehow everyone thinks he is a great teammate even though he has left 4 teams on bad terms and blamed his teammates/management (penny, kobe, pat riley, nash). plus he is super lazy and fat and was only revitalized by the Suns’ ridiculous training staff. have fun this year, Cleveland; next year, he’ll be talking shit on Big Z, Mo, and Delonte for sure.

        December 7, 2009 at 12:50 pm

  7. Yo

    After reading these I began to think about what I thought about Iverson as I have watched many NBA games and certainly have seen the highlights from A.I.’s amazing career. While I do agree with M. Scott about players worrying too much about what product they can make millions off of and Iverson playing a game that was never meant for someone of his size. Also comments made by r. about players speaking their minds and having a personality but when it comes down to it Iverson is a thug. I mean cmon this is the guy that has a wrap sheet longer than the list of things r. has sold the past month. This guy has been arrested for everything from gun charges to possession of drugs to get this, owning a daycare center and organizing cock fights between six year olds for the purpose of gambling on who wins. I doubt this is the guy we need to be writing articles about. Only now as he gets older does he realize what’s right from wrong and find him crying like a little bitch or Tebow. I am not saying we all have not made mistakes but he has made more than his fair share. This dude is a thug and always will be, it does not matter if he is 1st or 131st on the all time scoring list.

    December 7, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    • PGW

      December 7, 2009 at 2:23 pm

      • thegrip

        I’m glad you didn’t say a word, Wilkins.

        December 7, 2009 at 2:54 pm

        • PGW

          I tried to post this picture using html but failed. I need Grubersauce.

          December 7, 2009 at 2:56 pm

  8. r.

    i do like to sell shit, no profit doe. no profit.

    Iverson scares you. He bothers you. He has a gun under his car seat because he comes from Newport News, Virginia. He has possession charges regarding narcotics because he does drugs, so do you, a gun and weed in 1996, go to my hometown that shit is in 3 out of 5 cars on the road. As for the kiddie kollege, no charges, if he had the kids fighting, at least it makes em tough, most of those little bastards in denver are on the slopes and drinking lattes by 9 anyway, fuck em.

    I am joking about the kids, outside of that, Iverson was just another man who came from a different place, who is an amazing player and I personally wouldn’t call him a thug, he just doesn’t fit the mold you want him to.

    The Anti-Jordan in full effect.

    December 7, 2009 at 3:33 pm

  9. James

    Iverson is a pimp and women sportscasters are garbage.

    December 7, 2009 at 3:50 pm

  10. marklawrencescott

    That’s be honest: using the word “thug” to describe a black man is racist, it’s coded language. You wouldn’t call a white athlete that has had a few run-ins with the law a thug. No one called the Birdman a thug. In fact, he’s been praised for overcoming his past. I hate to sound like a total p.c. liberal, but seriously, think about the words you use.

    December 7, 2009 at 4:09 pm

  11. NZA

    I thought Jason Williams (the whitey) was a thug back in the day.

    December 7, 2009 at 9:09 pm

  12. Yo

    There is no coded language. I think it’s people like yourself that look for racism where there is none. People like you that want to scream racism at the drop of a hat. People like you that want to shout from their suburban home with $5k a month taxes. If you robbed a liquor store, got arrested on gun and weed charges and lived life like a gutter rat, I would fell confident in calling you a thug also. White, black, brown, Asian, whatever the case may be. So before you begin to sit on your pedestal and tell someone they are making racist comments just know that your definition of a racist comment may not be that at all. OUT!

    December 8, 2009 at 6:41 am

  13. Yo

    As for r., I doubt 3 in 5 cars in Hubbard are rollin dirty son! Check your facts!

    December 8, 2009 at 6:42 am

  14. all sport highlights

    allen iverson made me resume basketball training after 5 years, i used to watch the 66ers over and over again. THANK YOU

    December 8, 2009 at 8:18 am

  15. Basketball sucks, and I will trash out all of you…

    December 8, 2009 at 10:14 am

  16. r.

    AY YO!

    I apologize if my statement regarding my hometown seemed to be fabricated. I grew up on the southside of Youngstown until I was 9 years old and from there moved to the outskirts of Hubbard on Youngstown Hubbard Rd, the shingle shack at 3633 West Liberty son son, shit was condemned and then burned down. If you grew up with me, you know me, you know that is true.

    When it comes to “riding dirty” as you put it, within the city limits of Youngstown I would imagine 1 out of every 50 would be more accurate. But I have no actual or factual data that would support such a claim, I was moreso joking but highlighting that Youngstown probably has a higher volume of this than other areas across the nation.

    In my personal experience, both my grandfathers used to “ride dirty” unregistered weapons in their vehicles, and my old man went to jail for 18 months for “riding real dirty” but we can leave the details out of that. So I know about riding dirty. I realize it is illegal, and I am not justifying the action merely just making a point of how your atmosphere effects the decisions you make.

    I am not claming pity for where I come from or what I have seen, I am however stating that your attack of Iverson regarding his legal issues are possibly valid, but no where close to cogent or structured given that other factors are not taken into account.

    Furthermore, when it comes to individuals that comment, Mark Scott lives in Argentina for 250 a month and is not shouting from his suburb rooftop, nor does he come from one.

    I think it is wonderful if someone was raised with wealth or a privledged childhood, I hope I can afford my children the same privledge. I would love to be poruin it up in Grandview, I think taxes there are about 4100 for a spot I can afford, so someday maybe.

    In any case YO, I can understand if you don’t like Iverson, or if you feel the term “thug” does not have a racist connotaion, I would disagree of course but I won’t attack you, just be easy and get that Phila NUMBER 3 throwback on for the holidays.

    Wes your hoop game is mean old man. Plain meaaaaaaan.

    December 8, 2009 at 11:59 am

  17. all sport highlights

    allen iverson made me resume basketball training after 5 years, i used to watch the 76ers over and over again.

    December 10, 2009 at 7:09 am

  18. Pingback: Iverson’s Comeback Summed Up in One Play « We got more bounce in Columbus.

  19. Pingback: link up. | H1GHER LEARNING

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