Best of Craigslist: Satanic Ritual Sex
Craigslist is a never-ending supply of ridiculousness.
Thanks to Columbus Hype for the link!
Looking for a woman with evil appetites.
We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions(except Missionary) and love going to Bengals games.
Must be into anal. For that is Satan’s Alley. Must like blow jobs (Swallowing Lucifer’s Gravy) and Hand Jobs (Milking the Evil Goat)
Must be into slight S&M
Must be into erotic and evil costumes and lingerie. Leather Thongs, spikes, boots, black and evil bras that accentuate your bosom, Boba Fett costumes.
Must be willing to deep throat. (So that my satanic appendage will be closer to your black soul)
Must be into strap-ons so that I may feel the “Power of Beezlebub” coursing thru my lower intestines.
The perfect encounter will be this:
Meeting you at one of our local eatery’s. Plying you with ample alcoholic libations. Enjoying a nice piece of animal flesh. Tipping the waiter only 10% instead of 15 to 20% (Because we are EVIL!) Taking you back to my lair. Removing your Gothic Garb, laying you roughly upon my “Sacrifice Altar” (Twin size futon), and promptly begin to nibble on your Satanic Slit. (Please shave before the ritual, as it’s hard to be evil when you got pubes stuck in your fillings) Whence you are all moist with the Power of The Dark Lord’s Juices, I will remove my cape and trousers and proceed to fill you with the Sceptre of His Infernal Majesty. You will writhe in pleasure so deep, it will call forth the Evil One himself! After 4 to 7 minutes of the most intense sexual experience of your God Fearing life, we will perform a Satanic Snuggle, until you gently fall asleep in my powerful arms.
If this taps into the Primordial Jelly you have buried deep down in your Dark Soul, then contact me and we will make beautiful, agonizing “love” together. We will combine our desires and perform rituals so evil, it will awaken the Evil Ancient One from His Firey Nap! He will spill forth from the Bowels of Hell like so much premature Satanic Ejaculate!!
Hails to the Evil One!!
eBay: Buy The Rights to Name a Baby!
With 2 days 9 hours remaining on the auction they are already up to $2,700.00. Not a bad deal to SCAR YOUR KID FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. I hope someone rich steps in and wins the auction to save the baby from being named something like “Deez Nuts.”
Thanks to Sean “Bacon Man” Cathcart for the link.
Click here to view auction
roeVy – Dawdle
Yo yo yo! RoeVy was kind enough to send over their first ever original track. It’s Friday, you ain’t got no job, and you ain’t got shit to do!
R.I.P. The Step ***UPDATE***
I don’t know what to say. It’s like someone dug The Step up from his grave and dismembered his body. The pain and agony are too much for me to bear. I must live on knowing that The Step will never rest in peace. Stories about The Step have come from all over the city and it seems that he had almost as many enemies as he had friends. We may never know who the step really was, but we will always know what he was; he was a step, but not just any step, he was THE Step.
Somehow, someway, The Step will have his revenge.
Horse Leaps Moving Car, Crushes Windshield in the Process
This video is just insane: A horse somehow galloped into traffic in Israel yesterday — and successfully hurdled a car that was driving directly towards it, crushing the front windshield in the process. I’m pretty sure it was Seabiscuit.
Lost and Found, Vol. 3 by Wes Keyes
In 1975, David Byrne, Tina Weymouth, Chris Frantz hit the stage for the first time as Talking Heads. This just so happened to be at the legendary CBGB’s opening for The Ramones. Shortly after Jerry Harrison joined in 76′, the group was signed by Sire Records and released their first single “Love Building On Fire” and eventually their first album titled Talking Heads: 77. Producer Brian Eno joined forces with Talking Heads in 1978 for their second album, and would continue work with Eno until they parted ways in the early 80′s. The band would release a total of 8 albums together until their official split in 91′. Everyone went their own ways musically, Frantz and Weymouth were married and formed Tom Tom Club, while Harrison became a producer. Byrne his solo career, he had worked on a solo album with Eno back in 81′ titled My Life in the Bush of Ghosts. They joined forces again last year with Everything That Happens Will Happen Today.
Talking Heads – This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
When Squirrels Attack
I know at least one person out there enjoys these animal videos as much as I do. Squirrels are like rainbows with tails. I love them.
Gang Culture in the Americas
Donna De Cesare, a native of New York, has covered the spread of LA gang culture to Central America in the 90s. She is regarded as an expert on the issues of youth identity and gang violence and has won many an accolade for her documentary photography of Latin America.
Thanks to @NatDrive for the link!
Check the rest of the photos after the jump… (more…)
NBA Top 100 Dunks 2008-2009: 100-70
Another video to help the hoop-a-holics like me get through the rest of the year. I completely forgot about some of these dunks. I also hadn’t seen a good amount of them either. I’m thinking NBA League Pass in 2010???
I’ll toss up the rest of the videos over the next week or so.
James Brown, Get Down
We need another performer/entertainer like this, and I don’t think there’s a chance in hell we’ll get one.
What Happens When Vortex Rings (Smoke Rings) Collide
The collision causes about 20 mini-vortices to form around the outer ring. The center also undergoes some surprising transformations. I think we should get together and make one of those giant smoke ring guns out of a metal trashcan. You can shoot them 30-40 yards away.
Class dismissed.
Charles Manson’s Epic Question
Yes, this video is old. I’ve never seen it before and it gives me another glimpse into the disturbed/troubled/confused/mad-genius mind of Charles Manson. Here is a rough translation:
Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Uh, do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? Gefrannis booj pooch boo jujube; bear-ramage. Jigiji geeji geeja geeble Google. Begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga?
Thanks to Cardinal for the link!
Girl vs. Bus Roof
The bus wins. I don’t think hitting the ceiling is the best part. I like when she body slams into the backrest of the seat. That looked painful.
Today is a great day on the Internet. Been had blog posts.
Better Than Ice Cream, Vol. 40 by Wes Keyes
Olly Oxen Free is the second full length album from Alpena Michigan band Mason Proper. It follows their first LP There Is A Moth In Your Chest and Shorthand EP. Formed in ’04, Mason Proper has gone through a few personnel changes before landing their current bill. Jonathan Visger (vocals), Matt Thompson (keyboard), Zac Fineberg (bass), Brian Konicek (guitar) and Garrett Jones on drums. For Olly Oxen Free, they went to producer/engineer Chris Coady who has worked with Yeah Yeah Yeahs, TV on the Radio and Blonde Redhead. You might be able to catch them tonight at Chop Suey in Seattle w/ Stellastar. Then they’ll be heading back to the midwest for Pygmalion Festival in Urbana, Ill.
Mason Proper – Point A to Point B
The Best Ending to a Police Chase. Ever.
I really don’t know how this can be topped. In Utah, a 7-year-old boy led police on a car chase through Weber County. They boy eventually pulled into a driveway and ran into a garage. I bet that cop was ready to tazer the shit out of whoever was driving until he saw that little kid sprint towards the house. He should have tazered him anyways.
$20 says the kid was home schooled.
Beyond Here Lies Nothing
[guest blog by Mark Scott]
A few months ago, Bob Dylan released his 33rd studio album, Together Through Life. While not as strong as his last few records, Together Through Life definitely has its moments: “Beyond Here Lies Nothing,” “Life is Hard” and “It’s All Good” stand out. The album, as I understand it, came about as a result of French director Julian Dahan (La Vie En Rose) commissioning Dylan to compose songs for his upcoming film, “My Own Love Song.”
This is the first video from the album. It was produced by IFC films and directed by a stuntman (Nash Edgerton). If nothing else, it says what I’ve been saying for years: that even if you lock your woman in a squalid apartment, pump her full of sedatives, slam her head through a television, and she smashes a bottle over your head, whacks you in the face with a frying pan, stabs you in the gut, and runs you over with a car, none of that means the two of you don’t really, really–deep down–truly love one another.
Jaw Dropping Ultra-Low Wing Pass
Is it normal for the pilot to almost dig into the ground with the tip of the wing?
No…I don’t think so.
R.I.P. The Step
If someone would care to elaborate on this story in the comment section I will gladly add it to the post. I feel like some of the people who were there will do a better job of explaining it than I will.
Obama Joker/Socialist Posters Beginning to Spread Across US
Parody posters of U.S. President Barack Obama made to look like Heath Ledger’s version of the Joker in The Dark Knight have started spreading throughout L.A. and other parts of the country but nobody seems to know who’s responsible for it.
Obama is shown with white makeup on his face and, like the Joker, he has his mouth slit wide open. Below the image is the word “socialism,” although I’ve seen similar pictures on the Internet that say “Why so socialist?” A version of the poster showed up in Atlanta as well.
Obviously, the Obama Joker poster is an attack on the president’s push to reform America’s healthcare system. He is apparently losing some support among the public for his plan and this was cleared with the latest survey conducted by the New York Times recently.
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August 4, 2009 | Categories: art, news, politics | Tags: art, barack obama, guerrilla campaign, L.A., los angeles, obama joker, obama joker socialist poster, politics, posters, social commentary, socialist, socialist poster | 13 Comments »