You Ever Been Trashed Out By A Young Stallion?: Bonnaroo 2008

The results are in: Bonnaroo was tight.

Last year Ben Fuller convinced me to go to Bonnaroo with one story about a “porn bar” and bunch of other stuff I don’t remember and it was too good to pass up. I went and it was one of my best memories from 2007. All this year we had been talking and building up Bonnaroo 2008 and I can now say with confidence that this year topped the last.

As always things started out with everyone meeting up at Grimers. We planned on leaving around 9 PM or so but due to some unforeseen circumstances we were not able to leave Columbus until 3:45 in the AM. Everyone in my car slept the entire way so I just kept myself company with a little Band of Horses and Neil Young. James was kind enough to give me a break and drive as well.

We got in line for Bonnaroo right around 11 AM and began partying immediately. I rented out PA speakers from OIT so we bumped those out the dual sliding doors of my Chrysler Town & Country I borrowed from my parents. That turned the six cars in front of us and the six cars in back into one big dance party. Nick and Ben were not able to get tickets before we got there, so about 1/4 mile before the entrance they dipped into the woods. About 40 minutes later we made it through the gates and Ben and Nicky were walking down the road in front of us.

Once inside we parked and trekked all our gear to the same spot we camped last year only to discover that our corner had been replaced by a large fence. We were disappointed but we found an awesome spot right next to some port-o-potties. We set up our tents and the weekend began. On Saturday we discovered that our old camping spot was in fact in the same place, they just named the streets differently. Didn’t really matter because we had a blast. E. 1st Street in between 3rd and 4th Avenues was bumpin’ the entire weekend.

Thursday was hot and dry but the night cooled down a bit so it was perfect weather for music. Once our camp was set up Darius continued with his entertainment. You know anyone who can jump over that many trashcans?

We really didn’t see too many shows during the day. It took us a while to get everything set up. We just sat around and drank and watched the people roll by. We were on a pretty busy street so it was always easy to stay entertained with all the craziness going on. Ben decided that his shirt wasn’t hesh enough so Ben and Jimmy helped him remove the sleeves.

Nick came to Bonnaroo sans metro. He was straight up 100% legit gypsy.

This was the infamous botulism fountain inside of Centeroo. At night you can see all the dirt in the water against the ground. So nasty.

Claire and Rochelle had to pee so we formed a hesh-wall to protect them.

We checked out The Sword who put on one of the best shows of the whole weekend. I had never heard them before but if you get a chance to see them live I would definitely recommend it. My ears were wrecked for the rest of the night.

Woke up Friday morning and it was hot again. We discovered a man sleeping in one of our E-Z ups around 8:30 AM. We were all sitting around chillin’ when all of a sudden he got up, went to take a piss, came back and laid down ALL without saying a word to us. He seemed harmless so we all just let him be. He woke up again a few hours later and kinda stood up and looked around at everyone. Natalie offered him some water or a beer and he just said, “No thank you,” and wandered off. He came back again around 3 PM and asked if he could take another nap. We obliged and he passed out again. Around this time he was dubbed “The guy on the couch” (See Half Baked). Sadly I was foolish and did not take any pictures of him but we do have some video of his triumphant return a little later.

In the middle of all the hippie vendors selling pieces and art and whatever else hippies sell we found these 2 business tycoons. Yes, they are selling chum. They have this great business idea for selling deep sea fishing bait but they’ve got their target audience all wrong. You don’t sell chum and fishing poles to hippies at Bonnaroo. Unless you’ve got a ton of weed or mushrooms in there you ain’t sellin’ shit.

This hippie posted up around the corner from us.

Right around this time everything gets a little fuzzy. I’m not sure where I went but I was gone a few hours and returned to find Darius partying in his underwear.

Darius jumped over/around/off of about everything in sight. This may have been his best performance. A photographer from Rolling Stone saw him when he was standing around in his underwear and snapped a few photos. As he was walking away Darius ran and cleared a badminton net next to our camp. The photographer loved it and he made everyone in our camp get around the net and had Darius jump over it again. He described the picture in his striking English accent as, “Fantastic… I’ve never seen anything like it!” Hopefully it gets published.

Ben Fuller brought the parachute he found at the BLD and we used it as a canopy over our tents. The wind would blow and it would catch and blow in the wind. Looked pretty sick.

Some random guy showed up and chilled with us at our camp for a while. He just sat there drinking beer and didn’t really talk to anyone. After about 45 minutes he puked all over himself and our chair and dipped. That chair was thoroughly washed and dubbed “The Hot Seat.”

Danny Glover.

This horse took a huge dump in front of our camp so Kenobi decided to “take things into his own hands” and pick up the dookie. The same horse walks back by, Ben shoots the shit with the rider, and then our favorite hippie-tent-squatter “Guy on the couch” Atrayu came back to party with us!!!

We only got a few group shots from the whole trip but they all turned out perfect.

Atrayu’s shoes he left at our tent all weekend.

We decided it was time to go see Pearl Jam so we picked a spot back in the lawn and we all chilled out for a while.

After Pearl Jam we walked over to see Chromeo and had to get some group shots on the way.

That’s Darius. And that’s 15 ft. in the air.

Chromeo was by far my favorite performance of the weekend. I didn’t know what to expect but I’m so glad we saw it. It’s like disco funk for the 2000’s. Here’s them performing Fancy Footwork.

After Chromeo ended at 3 AM we headed to the main stage to catch the end (or what we thought was the end) of the Kanye show. We discovered that Kanye had not even taken the stage yet. He was supposed to come on at 2:15 AM. We walked over to the main stage and hung out for a while. A long, long while.

Hours passed while people booed and threw stuff on stage. Kanye waited until EVERY OTHER ARTIST at Bonnaroo was finished playing before he started. He wasn’t even scheduled to play on the main stage. He wasn’t even a headlliner. He somehow got Phil Lesh & Friends “moved” off the main stage and took their spot and THEN he made everyone wait. Instead of the 2:15 AM scheduled time he did not start playing until 4:40 AM. Supposedly the lawn was PACKED at 2:15 AM when he was supposed to start, but by 4:40 AM over half the people were gone.

You could see it in his eyes on the jumbotrons. The people standing still, the people walking away, and the people booing definitely affected his performance. Overall the show was mediocre — borderline shitty. People were leaving the entire time and it was the emptiest I saw the main stage the whole weekend. He used his Glow In The Dark Tour Blow In The Dark Tour set, but half of the performance happened when the sun was already up so the lights and the production lost its WOW factor. He was the only person on stage the entire time. No guest appearances, just a really, really tardy Kanye.

Being the huge fan of hip hop that I am I was probably looking forward to the Kanye West show more than any other performance of the entire weekend. It was a huge, huge letdown. During the entire show, he did not address the crowd once. He did all his talking with the “computer” named Jane. After his last song, he put the mic on the ground and walked off the stage. No hello, no goodbye, no encore, no nothing. Definitely the most disappointing show at Bonnaroo 2008. He made tens of thousands of people wait so he could have all the attention. I’m pretty sure he didn’t get what he wanted. I think Kanye’s ego is going to be his downfall.

Rolling Stone did a short article on the show so if you don’t believe me, read it.

Here are some performances. The only one I really enjoyed was Good Life which was performed well after the sun came up.

Kanye West – Heard ‘Em Say

Kanye West – Through The Wire

Kanye West – Good Life

After the show ended and Kanye just walked off the stage, people definitely were disappointed. People were yelling all sorts of stuff about Kanye, but I was too burned out and tired to really join in. The next morning I woke up and I felt obligated to voice my disappointment and disdain for Kanye. I’m not saying I’ll stop listening to his music or that I wouldn’t try to see him again or that I don’t want thim to put out another album, but on June 15th, 2008, this is exactly how I felt.

UPDATE: Looks like someone caught a little glimpse of the port-o-johns…

And someone else definitely saw it…